It's starting to hit me. You know, that fear that my book is really going to be published and everyone will be able to see my bared heart and soul. The questions of, "What if it's not as good as I think it is?" "What if it flops?" "What if, what if, what if?" are beginning to plague me.
I wonder if all soon to be published authors go through this. The big thing that worries me is what if I've written a stellar first novel, but the others just don't cut the mustard? What if my sequels are boring or tired? I worry about silly things and I know I'm a beginner at this but I want to be fabulous. I want to shine like a brand new star. I want all the other authors out there to read my book and rave about its brilliance.
I know that may happen with some. I also know that there will be others who hate it. Or maybe not hate it, but not like it. How will I handle the criticism? Yikes. I honestly don't know. Will I be a one hit wonder or will every novel I write get better and better? These are things that are rambling around in my brain lately.
Before your book is picked up by a publisher or agent, you are free to feel that deep sense of satisfaction, knowing our story is wonderful. We just know our work is going to be noticed. We pray for it, yearn for it and when we're accepted we leap for joy and acknowledge that these people were brilliant for noticing! LOL
Then you get to the editing stage. It's not hard to feel significantly less brilliant as your editor lovingly hacks and molds your beloved baby. It's not hard to feel like maybe, just maybe, you were a little bit overzealous about how fabulous your writing was. I have a feeling my editor will like most of the changes I made, but I've heard horror stories from other writers over the years and I worry just a tad.
So, it's onward and upward! I think I'll go and have a nice, relaxing soak in the tub!