Sunday, March 7, 2010

And the fear sets in

It's starting to hit me. You know, that fear that my book is really going to be published and everyone will be able to see my bared heart and soul. The questions of, "What if it's not as good as I think it is?" "What if it flops?" "What if, what if, what if?" are beginning to plague me.

I wonder if all soon to be published authors go through this. The big thing that worries me is what if I've written a stellar first novel, but the others just don't cut the mustard? What if my sequels are boring or tired? I worry about silly things and I know I'm a beginner at this but I want to be fabulous. I want to shine like a brand new star. I want all the other authors out there to read my book and rave about its brilliance.

I know that may happen with some. I also know that there will be others who hate it. Or maybe not hate it, but not like it. How will I handle the criticism? Yikes. I honestly don't know. Will I be a one hit wonder or will every novel I write get better and better? These are things that are rambling around in my brain lately.

Before your book is picked up by a publisher or agent, you are free to feel that deep sense of satisfaction, knowing our story is wonderful. We just know our work is going to be noticed. We pray for it, yearn for it and when we're accepted we leap for joy and acknowledge that these people were brilliant for noticing! LOL

Then you get to the editing stage. It's not hard to feel significantly less brilliant as your editor lovingly hacks and molds your beloved baby. It's not hard to feel like maybe, just maybe, you were a little bit overzealous about how fabulous your writing was. I have a feeling my editor will like most of the changes I made, but I've heard horror stories from other writers over the years and I worry just a tad.

So, it's onward and upward! I think I'll go and have a nice, relaxing soak in the tub!


M. Gray said...

Nice to know I'm not the only one with these fears. I can't wait to read your book!! And I still think it's awesome that your boys love it so much.

David J. West said...

I think we all go through the feelings of are people going to like this?

I am convinced that as we grow in expierience our writing will become better and better.

L.T. Elliot said...

I'm excited for you! Of course that's easy for me to say because I'm on the other side of it. My very best wishes for more success than you know what to do with. =]

Sheila said...

All I am going to say, is that I believe in you and can't wait to read your book!

Tamara Hart Heiner said...

oh girl! I know exactly what you mean! I have moments where I am certain my book is going to be the next bestseller. And then I have moments where I am terrified it will be so awful, even those who buy it will tell everyone else not to and all my friends will quit liking me!

Cheri Chesley said...

You will be wonderful, silly! :) Really, though, we all feel like this some days. True artists--no matter the venue--are like this. We bare parts of the deepest recesses of our souls to the public eye, and therefore to public scrutiny. And some will "ooh" and "ahh" and others will question why we're not house painters or carpet layers.

But you're a mom. Like me, you have experience and practical knowledge that you can't please everyone all the time. The difference is your kids will love you anyway. And, when you come right down to it, nothing else matters.

Criticism is important. We take it with a grain of salt, but also question if there's something we can do to improve. You're a smart lady. You will work to improve your craft as you go on, and your books will reflect that effort. No worries.

Caledonia Lass said...

You do have every right to feel this way. We all worry. :D
Then I have to tell myself the same thing I told my daughter, trying to get her over her stage fright:

Your work is a blessing, most importantly a Gift. If you do not share your gift, how will people ever get to appreciate it.

On that same note... you have the courage to share this gift and as such it will be inspected every way possible. You know you have done the best work you are capable of, because you do worry about it. You will not be able to please everyone, you will take the criticism with a grain of salt because you will want to continue to share your work with those who like, love and appreciate it.


Kimberly Job said...

My book comes out next Tuesday and I could have written this post word for word. It's scary!

Elizabeth said...

Hey! Thanks for finding me. Now I'm following you too.

I'm so excited for you and am looking forward to hearing about how things go with the book.

Annette Lyon said...

Seven novels later, I STILL get that fear. Never does end!

Melissa J. Cunningham said...

Great, Annette. Something to look forward to! LOL

Adeeva Afsheen said...

Banned complain !! Complaining only causes life and mind become more severe. Enjoy the rhythm of the problems faced. No matter ga life, not a problem not learn, so enjoy it :)

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