I just heard this week that my friend Cheri Chelsey's book was accepted by Cedar Fort. At least I hope that is the publisher since that is what I'm posting! Woo hoo, girl! Congrats! What a wonderful feeling.
What I want to write about here is that strange feeling you get when a friend gets accepted but you don't. That twinge of jealousy that erupts when you realize that another spot has been taken and it wasn't for your story. I remember that feeling a bit.
I also want to say that it is perfectly human to feel sorry for yourself in this way. Writing is emotional and we put everything into it. Our time, our passion, our energy. I had a very close friend of mine admit to me once that she worried I would be published before her. She has been writing her whole life, and I just started two years ago. When I was accepted, I worried how she'd feel.
It took a ton of courage for her to admit that. And you know what? I felt the same way. What if she'd gotten published before me? It's hard to own up to these feelings. We always want our friends to know how happy we are for them, but it is a bitter sweet moment for those left behind.
What is the remedy? More writing. That's it. Write your rear end off and keep going. That's all we can do. When you finish a book, start another, and another. And just remember, your time will come. IT WILL IF YOU DON'T GIVE UP. That is the secret. Those who get published are those who don't quit.
Go to every conference. Sign up for those "one on one's," and meet as many people as you can. Network, set up a blog, get on facebook. GET YOUR NAME OUT THERE! I promise, if you keep on keeping on, you will be published.
Keep a smile on your face and hope in your heart!
10 comments:
Ohh, it can be tricky, can't it? Supporting each other yet frustrated when we don't progress? I thought you explained this frustration very well. :)
That jealousy is a very real thing, and it takes strange forms. Before I got published, I actually stopped reading and going into libraries and bookstores, because I hated all those people who had books published and mine wasn't. Weird, huh? Now I'm reading like a maniac to catch up for those lost years.
Great advice! I think you're right about the writing. =]
I'm very proud of Cheri. She is my sister-in-law and my biggest fan/support/best friend. I did find myself saying, "I need to get published!" however, I'm so happy she's finally getting published. She's waited a very long time. If I said I was not slightly jealous, I'd be lying. But you are right. It is only human to feel such a thing. My time will come when it is supposed to and not a moment sooner. I'm thrilled that his is her time. You go Cheri!
Personally, I like it when people are honest and can admit that the green goblin has hold of them. I think it's amazing that you, Karen and Mistress can openly admit that. We've all felt it at some point. Thanks for coming by to comment.
(This is Tamara.) Oh, Melissa, we've all been there!!! even if not about writing...wanting to be happy for our friends but unable to fight back the jealousy...anything from a date to homecoming to pregnancy to employment.
Tamara, you are so right. There are so many things. Guess that's why it's one of the commandments, eh? Thou shalt not covet. Easier said than done.
I wish I could be an author, let alone get published. The only thing I worry about is self-publishing. Unless you're sure you can't possibly make your novel better and there is no other hope of ever getting it published, don't self-publish. It is the kiss of death among corporate book buyers.
Thank you, Melissa! That's so sweet. And yes, I totally get the twinge of jealousy thing. But I accepted early on that it would happen--friends getting published before me--and decided in advance how I would deal with it (lots of chocolate, j/k lol). The biggest one was when Shannon Hale, an educated mom of one, published The Goose Girl. It was my favorite fairy tale of all time and I couldn't help but think--why didn't I do that?? But after moping for a while I did what I consider to be a healthy thing. I emailed her and congratulated her, even though at the time I was nowhere near publication myself. It's helped me grow so much as a person and as an author.
Great post. The best/only way to become a writer is to write. The more you write, the better you get. The better you get, the more likely you'll get published. Only drawback... it takes a long time!!!
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