Tuesday, September 13, 2011

I surrender

So after ten years I get it. I can't run. I'll never be a runner. I'll never experience that runner's high in the way I want.

I love to run. LOVE IT! But I can't do it. I'm finally hearing the message I've ignored for so long.

You see, I was born with a touch of scoliosis. It's not that bad, and it never usually hinders me in any way . . . except when I run. The pain that builds in both my right and left SI joints, and my fallen arches becomes unbearable the more I try. After a day of running, I can hardly move for the next few days. I've spent thousands of dollars trying to "fix" myself, desperately hoping that things would change if I pushed through the agony.

I fell in love with running ten years ago and figured I could force my body to obey if I was determined enough. But some things are not meant to be no matter how much you believe, persist, dream, or pray. That doesn't mean you shouldn't go after it or that it's not worth the effort, it just means that every once in a while we have to sit back and say, "Okay. I'll try a different avenue."

My quest for fitness doesn't have to end with running. There are a million other things I can do. I just don't love them, or yearn to do them, like I do running. I guess I'll just have to walk . . . very fast. I also love yoga, so that's still sticking around and is the only thing that keeps me going relatively pain-free.

I could complain and say it's not fair, and it's not, but no one promised me that my life would be fair. That's all right. I just have to remember that everything will be all right. I like to remember the quote, "When God closes a door, somewhere he opens a window."

I choose to believe that's true. It will force me in a new direction and that's okay too. I'm up for a good hike.

23 comments:

Taffy said...

:) Good post. It's hard not getting what we want. It's a good lesson in acceptance, I guess. And that lesson extends to all areas of our lives. I'm up for a good hike! I'd go with you!

Melissa J. Cunningham said...

Great! I'll grab my shoes! LOL

Belle said...

Something like this is very disappointing, but you are doing the right thing I think. I hope you find something else to be passionate about.

Jaime Theler said...

Oh, I'm so sorry! But you're right, there are so many other options out there. Biking or swimming are real low-impact exercises, and I'm sure you could enjoy one of those too. I love hiking almost as much as running, so definitely get out there and find something else to enjoy. And if you're killing yourself trying to run, then that's not very enjoyable.

Kimberley Griffiths Little said...

Oh, so true, Melissa! And so important to remember every single day.

(My son took up running last year, looks fantastic, is competing now and bugging his mom to try it! But my knees hurt!) :-)

By The Sword said...

Jaime has the right idea, biking or swimming are still very effective. Also, hiking in hilly areas or even brisk walking is good for you as well.

Good luck.

Writer Pat Newcombe said...

I know exactly how you feel Melissa. I too ran for years - in fact did many marathons and hundreds of funruns. Arthritis has now caught up with me and I can only walk - two half-knee replacements put paid to running. I miss it so very much. But as you say, one door closes and another opens and my writing now takes priority. Good luck in all you do. You do sound such a positive person!

Angie said...

Great attitude. It's hard when we can't do those things we really want to. Thanks for a great post.

Old Kitty said...

Power walking and yoga are great keep fit activities!! So yay for you!! Take care
x

Stephanie Black said...

I'm sorry, Melissa! So frustrating when you want to do something and your body won't let you do it. I've never been a runner and if I tried it, my knees would disintegrate, but I know people really fall in love with running. I hope you're able to soon find another sport that you love!

anthony stemke said...

Life is tough and when you love something you cannot have it can be quite trying.
You seem to be accepting it, I hope you find peace with it. Prayer has helped me solve issues.
I hope you find an alternate to replace running, or reduce your time spent running.
Best of luck to you.

Abby said...

Hello from a new follower. I hate it when things like this happen. I hope that you will find something else you love. Have you tried Zumba? It's awesome!

Read my books; lose ten pounds! said...

I cant run for poo

mshatch said...

I'm sorry you can't run. But I think it's good that you've realized you can't. I'm not sure what I'd do if I couldn't run. I like walking/hiking but it takes longer. Of course, my dog would like that :)

Better is Possible said...

Great attitude and with it I'm sure you'll find something else to do that won't torture your body. Keep us posted.

Rob-bear said...

I'm not a runner, but I'm learning (again) how to be a decent walker. But then, I'm not in love with running.
I'm also a great believer in Plan B thinking. And Plan C. And Plan D.
Once you know what the real goal is, you have lots of different ways of getting there. Good luck in your process!

Elaine AM Smith said...

It is hard to realise that something you love is hurting you too much. It must be a huge disappointment. Good luck with the new keep fit regime :)

Mary Aalgaard, Play off the Page said...

Sorry that you can't do an exercise that you love. That is painful. Glad you discovered yoga and that it works for you. How about swimming?

jbchicoine said...

Probably one of the hardest things in life is admitting and accepting our limitations. There is often too much emphasis on achieving a goal at any cost. Oftentimes, it's the course of wisdom to know when enough is engouh.

...and, walking is awesome, too! Way more useful than running! :)

Tonja said...

My body isn't cooperating either. You should try different things - maybe one of them you'll love even more.

Ed Pilolla said...

it was such a satisfying experience as a reader to learn of this great loss in your life but be left with this enormous positive energy you are responding with.

Diane said...

I had to give up running because of my horrible knees. It was like losing a limb. In fact, I think it would have been easier to lose a limb. I tried this and that, half-heartedly. Then I started lane swimming. I can do it. And nothing hurts afterwards! It was my window after the door was closed. Thank you for your post. It's so nice to know that there are others in my same boat. So to speak . . .

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